There I was right in the middle of one of the most feared and most common aspects of modern society: the social confrontation. It wasn't that the people in whose presence I found myself were overtly hostile, or contrary. But I felt that I wished they would be. There is nothing more than disinterest and genuine apathy to make a confrontation awkward, but that's what I felt when I was asked: "What do you mean you don't consider yourself a patriot?"
My first reaction was my usual one- to wince with discomfort at the couple pairs of questioning eyes on me. God damn it if I usually knew to not allude to socially unacceptable ideas in the presence of strangers, but I had definitely messed up somewhere here. What is bothering me as I jot this down is that what came out of my mouth in response sucked. It seemed ungrateful, trite, and worst of all didn't even answer his question. I gave him some laundry list of things I hated done in the name of American patriotism-- but that's not what he was asking, not really. The 90% of Americans who consider themselves patriots don't believe in human slavery or war. But they believe in something greater than themselves. In God, in country. They believe America is greater than the sum of its parts, and I don't.
After mulling it over a bit, here is my real answer. I don't believe, especially in what is meaningless. Patriotism is linguistically empty. It is a subjective personal response to nostalgic triggers, enhanced especially by those who have benefited from the American class system. Patriotism truly is whatever you want it to be, making its parsimonious value next to nothing. Take for example these typical defenses to Patriotism:
"I'm proud of my country." This one is clearly unfair. You can be proud of individual things you have done for your country, but you can't be proud about things you haven't done. You can't be proud of the American constitution, you had nothing to do with it. By sporadic and meaningless chance, you were plunged into a citizenship that you didn't choose or contribute to. Furthermore, if you are going to feel pride in it, you must also feel guilt in the 250 nearly constant years of war this country has been in, most extensive genocide in recorded history, etc etc.
"I'm grateful for the freedoms I enjoy" Fine. But again, we've run into some pretty general and blunt linguistic territory, meaning a clarification is in store if we are to achieve parsimonious communication. "Freedom" is one of the most cop-out conversation enders in the American vocabulary, yet what does it signify? Our questionable right to vote, to dictate our own destinies? There is no black and white when it comes to freedom, there is constant grey scale. We don't have the freedom to drive without car insurance, but we do have the freedom to expect financial support when we get in a wreck. A 14 year old girl I know from Eastern Europe who complains about the public education system in America doesn't have the freedom of education here that she did in Poland, but she does have more professional options after graduation. It is no hidden truth that a child born into a middle or upper class family has more ability to dictate his own destiny than a child born poor. That isn't an American phenomenon, it is universal, and more freedom in one area almost always translates to less freedom in another.
"I believe in the greatness of America". Here is the kicker for me. Belief is dangerous territory for a sound mind attempting to accomplish its function--to reason. Once you have accepted a belief, there is no going back. If one is to blindly accept patriotism, there is no arguing against what is done that is justified in the name of it without using reason, the authority of which has already been squelched. We cannot only demand objectivity and rationality when it fits our agenda. We must strive for it at all times,or not at all. Reason cannot be used as a slave to any ideal. It is an evolutionary development common to all man if and when we choose to tap its resource.
Anyway, that's what I would have said to him if I had the time and really wanted to bum him out.
